I've been debating whether i should talk about this or not. But honestly i have an urge to talk about this. Life isn't always perfect. Sometimes the path we chose to walk in life turns out be wrong. We're all humans, we make wrong decisions, we make mistakes. But that's what makes us grow as a person and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
First of all, let me tell you that I don't like giving up, I don't like it at all. It makes me feel weak and that's something I really don't wanna feel like. But sometimes you just got to learn to let go.
Last year i decided to study law and i really thought it would be the right fit for me. I was so excited to start this new chapter in my life, i didn't listen to any doubts about it. I'm one of those people who follow their guts. It really felt right. I wanted to do it and so i did.
The semester started in October and i liked it. I was quite overwhelmed by the amount of time and effort it would take me to succeed but i like it. At least i thought so.
As the months moved on and I got used to everything... the doubts started kicking in. It wasn't really about doubting if i could make it, it was more about if i had made the right choice and it started to feel wrong to me.
And by "the right choice" i mean looking at the bigger picture, i started feeling like studying law and choosing it as a career later on wouldn't make me happy... In fact i was scared that i would make me miserable.
Those were just thoughts, i didn't talk about it, i didn't try to change things... i just went on the way i should and proceeded in law school. I ignored what i was feeling and told myself that it'll get better and i kept trying to convince me that i made the right choice.
It was in the new year, right after christmas break when i was casually skyping with one of my closest friends and i finally told her what has been on my mind for months... I didn't like law school.
Don't get wrong, it's really interesting and i liked learning about all those cases... it just didn't feel right. I remember bursting into tears while talking to her about. it wasn't pretty.
Anyways, even though i told her about my thoughts i still had problems believing myself. I just wasn't ready to quit... You don't just throw it all away. So i stayed in law school, made it through finals and started my second semester.
It was around early May when i came across a quote that really go me thinking.
"No reason to stay is a good reason to go"
It made me realize that i had no reason to stay in law school, it just made me miserable, cause i regretted choosing law. I wasn't passionate about it, i wasn't happy anymore and i stopped drawing... (that had to mean something was wrong with me, 'cause i'm a really creative person and i'm constantly sketching). So finally, after a couple of sleepless nights, i made the decision to quit and i haven't regretted it ever since. I'm so thankful for my parents, who may didn't like my decision to leave law school but supported me anyway.
Looking back i can say that I actually liked law school. I just didn't love it and i think you have to be passionate about the career path you're choosing. I firmly believe that passion and dedication will lead you to success. Leaving law school behind, giving up on it, didn't make me weak- it actually made me stronger as a person and i'm glad i did it. Now i'm living in Munich studying exactly what i love and i couldn't be any happier with my choice.
I'm sorry if i got all personal on you guys, but I wanted to talk about this because it means a lot to me.
It's not just about my decision to quit law school, it's about unlucky decisions and bad conditions in general.
People spent so much time focusing on all the negativity in their lives instead of looking for change and appreciating all the positive things life comes with.
If you wakeup every morning hating your job, quit it. Find something what you actually like to do.
If your relationship just hurts and you don't feel loved, end it. You'll find somebody who'll treat you as special as you are. Life is too short for negative things.
If something doesn't make you happy don't be afraid to let go of it. People shouldn't stick to something just because they are afraid of what life could bring them instead. I'm not saying that changing something big in your life isn't scary and you will probably feel lost for a bit, but i promise you it'll be worth it. So many better and brighter opportunities will come your way as soon as you get rid of all the negative things in your life. Making a wrong decision doesn't make you a bad person. Some of us just need to walk a windy life path with lots of turns and sometimes you even find yourself in a dead end road. So what? Just slow down, turn around and chose a new direction. That's what makes it interesting, that's what life is all about.